| 213、ugly wife
A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold
one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and
orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket
again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for
at least an hour and a half.
Finally the bartender, bursting with curiousity, says, "I
know it's none of my business buddy, but I have to ask. Why
the whole "drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another
one" routine?"
"Well," slurred the man, "There's a picture of
my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's
time for me to go home."
丑妻
一个男人走进酒吧，坐在长椅上，叫了一杯冰镇啤酒。他一口气喝下啤酒，看了看口袋，畏缩了一下，然后又要了一杯。他一气喝完后，又看看口袋，畏缩了一下，又叫了第三杯，就这样至少持续了一个半小时。
最后，洒吧招待员忍不住好奇地说：“朋友，我知道这不关我的事，但我还是想问，为什么你整晚都是‘喝酒、看口袋、畏缩，然后又要一杯’呢？”
“噢，”男人大着舌头说：“我口袋里有张妻子的照片，什么时候她看上去变漂亮了，我就什么时候回去。”
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214、quit drinking
A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of
Guinness, please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds
to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until
they're gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir,
I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I'll
bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers,
one in Australia and one in England. We made a vow to each other
that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right
now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we're drinking
together."
The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week
he sets up the guy's three beers as soon as he enters in the
bar. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He
drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says,
"Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that
I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit
drinking."
戒酒
一个男人走进酒吧说：“请给我来三品脱啤酒。”
于是，酒吧招待给了他三品脱，那人先在第一个杯子里喝了一口，接着在第二杯里喝一口，然后又在第三杯喝一口，就这样周而复始直至喝完。
然后他又要了三杯酒，酒吧招待说：“先生，我知道你是喜欢冰冻的，但你可以先喝一杯，等你快喝完时我会给你端来第二杯的。”
男人说：“你不明白，我有两个兄弟，一个在澳洲，一个在英国。我们相互约定，每周六晚在一起喝酒。现在，我的兄弟也要了三杯，我们正在一起喝酒呢。”
招待想这真是个奇妙的约定，于是每周那人一进酒吧，酒保就为他端来三杯酒。有一个星期，男人又来了，但只要了两杯。他喝完又要了两杯。酒保悲伤地说：“我知道你的习惯，我只想说很抱歉你的一个兄弟去世了。”
男人答道：“噢，我的兄弟都好着呢——只是我戒酒了。”
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